photo booth find

Niva Grace (aka Halle) and me during her last visit

how lucky I am.

Last week, my mom and I got to see our sweet Niva Grace (aka Halle) for the first time in almost a year. She is three and a half now and lives in Iowa with her mom, sister, and new stepdad (we were in Iowa for the wedding!). Niva Grace and I have always had a special relationship. However, since it had been 11 months since we'd last seen her, Trish wondered if she would even remember me. I knew she would. And she did.

Mom captured some photos of our very happy reunion.

Leaving her in Iowa the next day was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. It was ten times harder than the first time I had to say goodbye to her - for both of us.

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." -Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan, Annie

This foster care stuff is not for the faint of heart. 

Halle is three.

I got a surprise phone call a couple of days ago, and a tiny voice on the other end of the line said, "I want to see you."

The sweetest little girl in Iowa turned three today (did I mention they moved to Iowa? They did. In May. Hence her wanting to see me.). Not a day goes by that I don't think of her, miss her, and pray for her.

It's hard to believe that three October 5th's ago, I'd never even heard of her.

a baby in a wig

Why? Because a 7-month-old Halle in my mom's wig is more fun than cancer. That's why. 

And because it's her birthday! Our sweet little Niva Grace (formerly known as Halle) is TWO today! :-) I can't believe it's been almost two years since I posted this awesome newsflash. 

Happy Birthday, baby girl! We love you!
 

 

Fyi . . . if you don't know who Halle is: 1) I truly feel sorry for you, and 2) she has her own label over in the right sidebar - you can click on it and learn all about her. ;-)

P.S. Trish update coming later, I promise. No news is good news!

April 3rd (x2)

Last April 3rd, I was pretty obsessed with these eyes and these eyelashes.

Turns out, this April 3rd was no different.

How many pictures can I take in 24 hours?

Recently (okay, fine, it was over a month ago - I'm playing catch-up here!), we had Halle/Niva Grace and her sister Cierra for a day and night while their mother played violin in an out-of-town wedding. We had so much fun! Or, should I say, we had so much fun during the day. Halle had a double ear infection and swimmer's ear, so trying to get her sleep and keep her asleep that night was not easy (brought back many memories of staying up with her while she coughed her little head off all night long!). But, other than missing out on a few hours of sleep, we had a great weekend. Here's a recap . . .

We visited Grandmother & Paw Paw and played outside.

Happy because she had my phone . . . little did I know she made a call to my friend Cari-Beth.

Mom, Tekia, and Cierra feeding the horse and cleaning up the barn

trying to put her clothes back on after we'd changed her into her pajamas :-)

breakfast!

Me and a sleepy, sick baby girl. I'm not sure how either of us were keeping our eyes open - we'd been up from 3am - 8am straight!

Dad gave the big girls wagon rides.

And, since it was Easter weekend, we dyed Easter eggs.

Niva Grace very much wanted to do her eggs totally on her own!

Our 24 hours went by way too fast. We can't wait for next time!

Today is your day.

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

Actually, a week ago today was her day - Halle's day, that is. Last Saturday, my mom, Tekia, and I (the boys were at an Arkansas game) went downtown with Niva Grace (aka Halle), her family, and friends for her big day - adoption day! It was, in fact, National Adoption Day, a Saturday on which courtrooms all across the country were open to finalize the adoptions of 4500 foster children! Good day.

Here are Niva Grace and her mom, sister, and grandparents with the judge who finalized her adoption (and who also finalized Tekia's adoption almost six years ago).

My mom and I had never been to court on National Adoption Day before, and we very much enjoyed getting to witness it all. Adoptions are rather anticlimactic - at least the court room part of them is - but seeing so many at once was exciting. I believe they were doing about thirty adoptions in Memphis, and we saw the first six or so, starting with Niva Grace's. We just sat and watched as family after family was declared forever, and it was awesome.

The picture below is of people who are total strangers to me. I took it because I like them - or at least I think I do. The father of this family is on the stand, telling the attorney and judge that he promises to be a real dad to the son he is adopting. His newly adopted son is sitting in the front row of seats. I'm not sure which one he is, though, because they are all his sons. The man on the stand is the single adoptive father to those six adolescent boys sitting there. Wow.


Anyway, back to the star of the day. She really was the star. If you get the Sunday paper here, this week you might've noticed a stunningly beautiful little cover girl on the front page of the Local News section. That would be Niva Grace. If you don't get the paper, you can see the photo of N.G. and her new mom here. I'll see if I can get you an autographed copy when the star learns how to write.

Side note: Don't get confused and look for this picture on the very front page of the paper - that space was reserved for an article about animals being rescued. The article (which was actually not an article at all - just a caption under the photo) about children being rescued was a few sections back. Really. Now y'all know I'm all for animals being rescued. You're talking to the girl who recently syringe-fed puppy formula laced with crushed-up Tums to a calcium-depleted baby squirrel. And the girl who once brought home a wild, orphaned baby bunny and was once known to cook green peas for her spoiled betta fish. But I'm still a little partial to human children, particularly those who need rescuing, and I wish The Commercial Appeal and other media outlets shared my sentiments. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

After court, we went to Niva Grace's Adoption Day party, where we ate, talked, and watched N.G. open and play with her presents. Below is Niva Grace opening presents with her sister Cierra and mom Cande.

I have to admit that Mom's gift was her favorite. She dragged that phone around the rest of the morning! You may recognize her dress. It was her Easter dress that my mom made for her.

Love this girl. :-)

Kia made sure to get in some holding time with both baby girls.
This was Jordan's first big outing and she spent pretty much all of it sleeping. Dreaming of her big day, perhaps? And, yes, she is flipping off the camera in this picture. On second thought, maybe that's not what she's dreaming about . . .
All that baby-holding wore this girl out!

We are so blessed to still be able to be a part of Niva Grace's life and were so happy to be there with her and her family on her special day. I know many of you have prayed for this sweet girl right along with us, and for that I thank you. Please don't feel you have to stop now. :-)

So . . .
be your name Buxbaum Halle or Bixby Niva, or Bray Grace
or Mordecai Ali van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to great places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So . . . get on your way!

We love you, sweet girl!

P.S. For those of you who aren't Dr. Seuss fans like me, the italicized quotes at the beginning and end of this post are from Oh, the Places You'll Go!, a book I read to Niva Grace almost daily during her seven months with us.

Baby 9551

If you're friends with me on Facebook, you know that, when I'm working, my status often reads that I am "saving babies." I love my job, because that actually is what I get to do! I get to save babies . . . sort of. In all actuality, I get to be present when God chooses to save babies, and, if I'm really lucky, He uses my hands to help. Every morning I pray that I will never get used to witnessing these miracles.

Most of the time, my job is happy. Most of the time, my patients get better and go home. But, sadly, it doesn't work out that way all of the time. I wish I could say that I spent all of my time at work saving babies. I wish I could tell you that I've never had to swaddle a dying baby and place him in his mother's arms for the last time. I wish I could say I've never been to a baby funeral. I wish I could say I only saw hellos, and never goodbyes.


When you look at this picture, you probably see a half-buried metal disc with the numbers 9551 etched into it. But when I look at this picture, I see something else. I see a face. I see a crib filled with stuffed animals. I see chubby cheeks. I see a blue smocked gown. You see, four feet below this metal disc is a small pine box. Inside that pine box lies the tiny body of a baby boy. A baby whose name I know. A baby whose veins I stuck, whose airway I suctioned, whose heart I heard beat. A baby whose diapers I changed, whose pictures I took, whose bottom I patted, whose hands I held. He should not be in this place.

This place is known as "Babyland." It is part of the Shelby County Cemetery; it is where the littlest citizens of Memphis are laid to rest when their families cannot afford to pay for their burials. There are more than 17,000 babies buried there. Did you know that Memphis has the highest infant mortality rate in the nation? Each year, we lose more babies before their first birthday than any other city in the U.S. . . . an average of one baby every 43 hours. One zip code in Memphis has an infant mortality rate that's higher than some third world countries. I know, if you live in Memphis, you've probably heard this all before. What you may not know is that many of these babies' deaths are due to preventable problems such as abuse, malnutrition, and lack of prenatal care (obviously the one I see most often in my line of work). These are problems we can help fix.


I'd heard about Babyland before and seen it featured on 20/20, but I'd never actually been there until last April. It's not very far from our house, and my mom and I used to drive by it frequently when traveling to and from Halle's babysitter's house. One afternoon after we had picked Halle up together, we decided to stop by. At first glance it looks like nothing more than a grassy field, but if you get out of your car and walk closer, you'll notice that the ground you're walking on is speckled with round metal discs. Some are shiny, surrounded by fresh dirt, and have just recently been driven into the ground. Others are barely visible as grass has grown up around them, while still others, as result of wind and rain, have come out of the ground completely. Some of the markers are covered with stuffed animals, flowers, toys, and crosses. A few have small headstones in front of them.

As we walked among the graves that afternoon, I silently thanked God for the healthy six month old I carried on my hip. Even now, tears come to my eyes as I think of how easily she could've been in one of those babies' places. The risk factors were there: young single mother, African-American, no prenatal care. Halle could've been Baby 9551. I wonder how many Halles this city has not gotten the chance to know because they've ended up as Baby 9551?


This infant mortality problem is just one of the signs of the brokenness in our city. There are many others. If you live in Shelby County, you see them as you drive around town. You read about them in the paper and watch them on the news. You may come across them in your workplace. I know you probably feel that you didn't cause these problems and it's not your responsibility to fix them. Let me Him gently remind you that these are our problems. It is our responsibility to fix them, or at least to try . . . Matthew 25:40 . . . James 1:27 . . . Proverbs 31:8-9 . . . James 4:17.

If you want to be a part of this movement to change Memphis for the better, I strongly encourage you to consider attending this year's HeartLight, also known as Powerlines, on November 7th at the Agricenter. Typically, HeartLight is a gala held to support Agape. While still supporting Agape, this year's HeartLight will be a little less gala-ish. And it is about so much more than just Agape. Those of you who've been to HeartLight before will find this year's to be quite different. We will still have dinner and there will still be music, but that's about where the similarities end. At Powerlines, you'll get an up-close and personal view of some of our city's biggest problems. More importantly, you'll get the opportunity to help fix some of these problems. We will show you many, many ways that you can use your individual talents to help the "least of these" in our city, not just through Agape's services but through many other organizations in our city as well.

So, if you'd like to come, click here to find out more and to purchase tickets (or to be sponsor!). There are still tickets available for both tours, though the first tour is filling up fast. You can sign up for whichever tour time works best for you. Tickets are $75 each (ouch - I know! Just think of this face. No guilt trip intended . . . okay, maybe just a little one, but it really is worth it). We hope to see you there!

Most of all, please be in prayer about Powerlines and its effects on the people of our community.











"Once our eyes have been opened, we cannot pretend we don't know what to do. God who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12